Keep It To Yourself

As a woman I understand the need to consult and talk to your girls about your life; however, there are certain times you must limit the info you are telling even your closest friend.  Entering a committed relationship is a big step and with that step will come responsibilities.  One of those responsibilities is to protect your relationship.  A great way too keep your union from danger is by not tell your friends, even the closest ones, intimate details of your relationship.  Several relationships have been ruined because of the betrayal of a friend.  In some cases the betrayal was sexual and on others their business was spread to everyone causing a breakdown in the relationship.  If you want to maintain a healthy and secure romantic relationship do not, under any circumstances, reveal the too much information about it to your friends.  Even when you may be upset with your mate, do not use that opportunity to develop loose lips about your relationship or your spouse.  People will use the info you revealed during a vulnerable moment against you or to take your spot.  When things go wrong talk to your spouse.  Being truthful and honest about your feeling with your mate will limit confusion and opportunities to feel the need to vent.  If you are in a position where you can not talk to your spouse because you are too upset try venting in other ways.  Journaling is a good way to express your emotions without having to worry about betrayal.  I do understand that sometimes we need to converse with a human about problems in our life; nevertheless, you must be extremely careful when doing so.  If you must share intimate details of your relationship to someone make sure that you limit the amount of people you tell and be sure they can be trusted.  If you truly care about maintaining a healthy relationship you must protect it.

Keys To Happiness In Romantic Relationships

Having a healthy, happy, and hot relationship is not that difficult; nonetheless, it does not just happen there are some things you must do to keep your relationship on that path.  Listed below are a few tips to assist you in keeping your relationship on track.

1. Choose The Right Partner
Most people begin to worry about their relationship after they are in them.  The best way to deal with problems is to avoid them.  And the best way to avoid issues in your relationship is by choosing the best partner for you.  Many people look for all the same qualities everyone else is looking for rather than seeking a partner that fits you perfectly.  Search until you find the one that suits you best.  Do not be influenced by others, society, or even your parents.  People will have an opinion but YOU will be entering into a relationship with this person. 

2. Be Friends
Romantic relationships seems to add so much pressure on people.  As soon as you start putting labels on yourself and your relationship things change.  Before you get caught up in status and titles try to just be friends with someone that you are digging.   Developing that friendship will be a save your romance in the future.  Many relationships end because there is nothing between but physical attraction and sex.  Relationships need more than that to survive. 

3. Don’t Change The Rules In The Middle Of The Game

Once you have entered into a relationship and have been going strong for a while, you feel good and confident.  That confidence comes from the feeling that things are good between you and your mate.  To keep that feeling remain true to the foundation and basics of your relationship.  You can not change the rules in the middle of the game and expect your partner to keep up. 

4. Be Equal & Balanced
If expected to survive, all relationship must be fair.   Double standards, two set of rules, and too much on one person can not exist.  What goes for one must go for the other.  You must share the burdens of your lives, finances, and relationship together. 

5. Cherish Your Relationship

If you really want your relationship to stand the test of time you must cherish it.  Protect, honor, and treasure the special bond that you share with your mate.  Let no one or nothing come between you and your spouse.  Many people will join you in celebrating your love; however, there will be a few people that will envy what you have and may act on that envy.  Together, you should watch those around you and pray for strength to keep your love strong.

July/August Topic of the Month – Surviving the Heat

As we move into the summer months I would like to focus on relationships.  During the spring and summer many relationships develop.  It’s the time of year that more skin is shown and hormones begin to rage.  Due to this you will start to see people coupled up, facebook statuses changing from “single” to “in a   relationship,” and your girls will have less time to spend with you.  The temperature is hot and so are the relationships.  So everything is all good, but what happens when the excitement dies down and he’s not looking as hot as he did a few months ago.  If you want to move on, do so, but if you want to make the best out of your time investment we are here to help.  If you have been in a relationship for years and you feel like things are beginning to simmer or the fire has just died, we are here to assist you too. Our topic for July/August is “Surviving The Heat,” which will focus on how to keep your relationship hot, happy, and healthy.   Hey Soul Sistas will post articles, blogs, recommend books and feature various information to assist our Sistas in keeping their relationships hot.  If you have any suggestions, ideas, questions, or comments please feel free to contact me, Jameka Murphy, at,, or

Help A Sista Out!

Hey Soul Sistas, make your mark on the world today and extend a helping hand to a sista in need.  Your help can be in the form of advice, spending time, watching her kids, helping her get ready for a date, sharing your experiences, or just being a listening ear.  Let’s change the game, and put the devil to shame.  Step up and be more than what is expected from us.